Pack~of~chaos's Blog

The daily life of our pack.

Spring…ish April 8, 2012

Filed under: Oueen Tiger Lily ( Dsh a.k.a. The Cat ) — packofchaos @ 12:24 am

How on earth is it possible for cooler weather to thin my perfectly thick coat?? Though I will admit I did look a bit…plump, I would have never have on my own free will gotten rid of my winter coat!

But spring does have its pluses. The irritating chirping of fledgling birds, the young tender shoots, and mostly pleasant skies have filled my heart and mind with wonderful new schemes and has brought to mind my youthful days.

The kittens…well, let’s just say they have a spring in their step. I want to kill them.

There has been some hustle and bustle of late as the warmer weather sets in. I prefer to sit back and bite a few fingers. Ah, what more could I want? Besides the world, of course.

I must be off. Important business to attend to. You may leave now. Immediately. This instant.

Her Royal Highness,

Tigerlily

P.S.  A message to all you people who breed kittens just because they are fun and cute: You are all idiots. If you are not trying to preserve our noble heritage and innate evilness, you are no good. Give the Animal Kingdom a break, and stop. Seriously.

 

The Mouse July 16, 2011

Filed under: Oueen Tiger Lily ( Dsh a.k.a. The Cat ) — packofchaos @ 1:23 am

  ARRGGHH! Those despicable Kittens are still here! Well, only two of them, but that’s just as bad. And oh, they just act SO cute for the humans, all stupid and cuddly. Have they no respect for themselves??

  Apparently not. I am sure that unto their dying day they will still be sucking up to MY Servants. Hmph, you would think that even something of their intelligence level would know by n0w that I’m the one that rules THIS roost!

  Anyways, a drastic event has occured.(*Dramatic gasp from audience*)  A mouse has treppassed onto my property! The stupid little creature seems to think that the Closet where the Servants store my food is rodent-friendly. *Sniff*, I should think not.

  The Main Servant(the dogs reverently -and stupidly-refer to her as Alpha or Mom. I know better.)discovered it. All the other, lesser, animals were gathered around the Closet, listening to her scream her human scream. Hmph, and they call US scaredy-cats?

  I excuse the weak minded canines for not seeing the mouse and exterminating it(even Nala, the Renowned Mouser IG), but honestly, if the Kittens’ eyesight is anywhere as good as mine they would have seen it! So, right now I am spitting mad at the lazy Kittens and furious at the Mouse for entering the house without MY permission. Honestly, I do take bribes you know…

  P.S. It appears to me that you humans don’t seem to recoginize the importance of windows to us cats. So how’s this: IF YOU DON’T KEEP WINDOWSILLS AROUND, WE WON’T KEEP YOU AROUND!

                                                                                                               Your Tyrant Queen, Tigerlily

 

 

 

 

The Art of Losing Your Mind June 17, 2011

Filed under: Oueen Tiger Lily ( Dsh a.k.a. The Cat ) — packofchaos @ 1:32 am

Hello, those who read about the wondrous life of the Queen- of -everything -she- sees! I assume you have noticed how absent I have been over the past several months, I would apoligize, but I am a cat and we felines are never sorry.
  Anyways, I have been extremely busy doing things I shall not bother to explain, but I will mention a few things that have happened over the past year.

  The Koda dog is no longer here, after all, how could such a stupid poodle serve in my Kingdom?

  I have now completely brain-washed the youngest child here. He now lives to serve me.

  I am no longer eating the cheapo store-bought cat food, I have been switched to a delightfully expensive brand called EVO, since I have been on it I’ve noticed how amazingly healthy I am, compared to the Other Kind.

  It’s gotten hotter, obivously.

  Oh, and just one little detail I almost forgot to mention…. THE HUMANS HAVE COMPLETELY LOST THEIR MINDS!!!

  Only one word is needed to describe the predicament I am currently in, one grostuque, monstrous word.

  Kittens.

eat up

  Four small, annoying, innocent little poofballs. I call them Dumb, Stupid, Horrible Mistake, and Regretful Failure. And then there is their mother.

  Shay. Also known as “Flea-bitten Cur Sent To Infiltrate My Kingdom”!

  ARRGHH!

  Luckily for me, I am a very big(not fat, mind you!) cat, and my sudden appearance can be somewhat more than frightening, so the kittens(*shudder*) stay well away from me and my path of destruction.

  My brain-washed minions have informed me that The Servants have decided to keep two of the kittens. We will see about that.

  Survelliance has revealed that The Servants plan on letting the Kittens run rampant through my Palace tonight, I assure you, they will get a big, yellow-eyed scare when The Servants are off to bed…

  P.S. Well-known fact amongst us cats: the reason we are cute when we are kittens is so that you humans will fall in love with us, raise us, and be subject to brainwashing when we are older.

 

The New One May 28, 2010

Filed under: Oueen Tiger Lily ( Dsh a.k.a. The Cat ) — packofchaos @ 12:10 am

Hello again!

A couple weeks ago three of my servants left in the car with Tucker.I didnt suspect anything,I  was just happy the Elephant wasnt around. A few hours later the servants came back,I walked elegantly to the door to see what they brought back,The Elyssia servant was holding a weird rope thing and she was smiling,I assumed it was a noose and calmly began to groom myself.But something was attached to the noose! It was a bit bigger than me and was a golden color and was really poofy.And then it started to move! Icouldnt for the life of me figure out what it was.

A couple days later the servants left again with the giant,golden cotton ball.They came back a few hours laterwith the poof ball,they had shaved it and IT WAS A DOG!!!!!!

How dare they! The thing doesnt even know I run the place! He thinks the humans do! How stupid is that?! And get this! He likes playing in the mud! Gross! He even thinks I want to play with him! Such a limited mind.

P.S. Its weird how humans think dogs chase cats, youve got it mixed up. Cats chase dogs. Ask Smokey,he knows all about it.

                                                                                                               Tigerlily

 

Tigerlily’s day May 2, 2010

Filed under: Oueen Tiger Lily ( Dsh a.k.a. The Cat ) — packofchaos @ 1:11 am

I have taken the liberty of telling you about what I did today.

Morning: Woke up, stretched, woke Tucker, tempted Tucker to chase me (The easiest way to do this is by saying Freak), woke up the lazy humans, the oldest human woke up and put the dogs in their cages (yay!), I told her to feed me or else I would die of starvation if I didn’t eat, she woke up my personal servant and told her to feed me or else she’d throw me outside, I got fed and then I glared at the humans until I fell asleep.

Afternoon:I plotted to take over the world, walked around my palace, goofed off, meowed for no good reason, insulted the dogs (it keeps them alert) cuddled with Brittany,stared at squirrels (stupid things) and glared at people.

Night:Ate, swatted a couple of humans, practiced my glaring methods, went to the bathroom, shedded, glared, groomed myself, shedded, yawned, stared outside ,laid on the table, got chased off the table, hissed, insulted, plotted and went to bed.

that was my day, I was very busy.

P.S. I’ve noticed that most people think that all cats want to be petted, most do not, so get that idea out of your head if you want your hand to remain attached to your arm.

                                                                                                                                         Tigerlily,

 

Intoducing my main servant April 26, 2010

Filed under: Oueen Tiger Lily ( Dsh a.k.a. The Cat ) — packofchaos @ 8:15 am

Hello again, for those who don’t know , YES, I do have the power to brainwash people!

I must introduce my personal maid, Brittany, she is my cook, backscratcher, entertainment,

heating pad, bed maker, and body guard.

Now I will explain:

Cook:

Brittany wakes up early each morning to feed me after I ring the breakfast bell, It’s Tucker’s tail in case you were wondering.

She always makes sure to give me a treat in the afternoon.

Back Scratcher:

If you dont understand what that means, you’re stupid.

Entertainment:

Every day she will sit on the floor and give me the most stupidest toys and try to get me to play with them,

how cute is that?

Heating Pad:

When I get the chance I will lay in her lap and fall asleep, she produces So much heat!

Bed Maker:

The name says it all.

Body Guard:

All the time those silly stupid dogs chase me! But its obvious they just want my autograph.

Now you understand (partially) why I like Brittany better than all the other humans who dare to touch me.

P.S. I have noticed the increasing amount of little kids pulling cats tails.

If you know whats good for you, you will end it.

Tiger Lily